Hi, Amazing World!
The other day I had a chat with one of my travel friends regarding that ever-bothering question of how to be happy in life, how to find that happiness.
Many of us tend to think that we need to have something or someone in order to become happy. Like, “once I get that job, I will be really happy” or “If I get accepted to that university, then I will be truly happy”, or “when I find my “soulmate”, I will finally find my happiness”, and the list goes on and on. I am sure you all can relate to it a certain degree.
However, is it really happening this way or the other way around? What I mean is that saying all the above statements we kind of presuppose that our happiness totally depends on something or someone else, it is like someone owes us to make us feel happy. What if we start thinking that our true happiness starts with ourselves and depends only and only on ourselves.
Nowadays “the law of attraction” theory is quite popular. In other words – what you think about, comes about. What is the whole essence of this concept? We are all magnets, it states, and we attract what we think about most. It goes down to the very things you are thinking about. Say, you are not happy about your job and you keep complaining about it, and eventually something happens at that very job that will make you be even more disappointed or moreover, you might even lose it due to some circumstances. And then you ask yourself – what and why did it happen? Hellooo!! You kept complaining about it, you were completely negative about it, so you eventually attracted the same negative stuff! You may think it in this way (to make it more vivid) – “you know what, I am tired of listening to your wining and complaints about me, I am leaving you”, the job says. Does it really work this way? Well… think about your own life, even now you may recall different situations that would relate to what was mentioned earlier. Maybe, you would be saying how sick and tired you are of this and that, and then you would really get sick. I am not saying that just because you mention the word “sick” you will become sick. But you might agree that you cannot say things like “I am sick and tired” and feel happy at the same time. Most likely you will be feeling frustrated, or disappointed, or depressed – you name it. The bottom line is that you are far from feeling happy.
Let’s turn the situation the other way around, that is when you are feeling contented and happy within you. Once you are felling truly good inside, is it possible to be saying at the same time how sick and tired you are, how you hate what happens to you all the time. No. And feeling this way in and out you start attracting different people and situations, no matter how big or small, that will bring along positive feelings! Whether those will be the people that will be on the same happy note and they will make you feel good, or some events that will trigger your positive feelings.
Just think about your every day life experience. How do you start your day? Do you start it feeling grateful for everything you have and triggering the happy feelings, or you start it feeling tired and annoyed that “this is another day, again going to that job, seeing those people, doing the same routine” thinking and contemplating on when there could be a change of this routine. If this is your case, then don’t be surprised and don’t question why your life is the way it is. Just think about how you start each day! Why not make a sort of experiment? Say, you wake up in the morning and start your day with a smile and gratitude. If you think there is nothing good in your life then look at the basics – say thank you for being alive and healthy, for having another day in front of you, for having a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes on your back, for having a great family and good friends, or the opportunity to be somewhere where you are and doing what you are doing. There could be hundreds of things to be grateful for. Our problem is that we are taking them all for granted. This is how it’s supposed to be, we may say. But is it really the way it is supposed to be? Because only when you lose it, for example, you become sick and lose this feeling of being healthy, then you realize that you don’t need anything just to be healthy again. And this list may go on and on. What I am saying here, by feeling grateful you gradually start having the feelings of happiness and contentment. Great, this is all you needed to start the day! You will look at things around you through the positive prism and not the negative one. And see what happens next. Analyze that day in the evening and see whether the way you started the day reflected in how the day went.
Well, these were the thoughts in terms of how to increase the quality of life. From my perspective, the quality is part and parcel of being truly happy. It is not how much you own in my view, it is how happy you feel. If you are not able to feel happy with the minimum, how can you learn to be happy and appreciative with the maximum?
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather recognizing and appreciating what we already have” – Frederick Keonig